Look More Beautiful in Seconds!

What if I told you that you can look more beautiful right now within seconds...would you believe me? Well you can and it is as simple as smiling! All  too often we underestimate the power of a smile! We all know that a smile can do things like warm a heart, speak words of kindness without ever saying a word and tell the world you’re feeling pleased. But did you know that a simple smile makes you more beautiful, sexy and younger looking?!

When I say a smile makes you more beautiful, sexy and younger looking— I'm not just speaking metaphorically or figuratively. A smile really does increase overall attractiveness!

One study conducted by Researchers at Max Planck Institute for Human Development in Germany proved that when people looked at photos of happy faces, they guessed the person's age as younger than in photos of the same person with a neutral or angry expression. And it gets even better than that. The Journal of Nonverbal Behavior reports that people are judged more attractive and more intelligent if their eyes wrinkle around the corners when they smile, hence, crow's feet wrinkles. I was especially pleased to stumble upon this fact since my own crow's feet often discouraged me from genuinely smiling in pictures. So you can probably imagine why the idea that crow's feet can make me more attractive really makes me smile...crow's feet and all.

In another study (Walsh & Hewitt) smiling was proven to have a more powerful effect on men than eye contact. This research was conducted in a bar setting and focused on physical cues that trigger a man to approach a woman. When a woman established eye contact alone she was approached 20% of the time by a man. However, when she added a smile she was approached 60% of the time. I should note that the same did not hold true for men and smiling in this particular scenario.

Now that we have established that smiling makes you irresistibly beautiful, let's not forget that looks aren't everything and there is a lot to be said about feeling great physically. Well, once again a smile saves the day! Did you know that smiling makes you feel good by releasing endorphins, lowering blood pressure and boosting immune function? According to Psychology Today, the simple act of smiling:

1. Makes Us Attractive to others There is an automatic attraction to people who smile.

2. Changes Mood If you smile when you are not feeling good, there is a chance it might improve the way you are feeling.

3. Contagious Others will want to be with you. You will be helping others feel good.

4. Relieves Stress Stress does express itself in our faces. When we smile, it can help us look better, less tired, less worn down.

5. Boosts Immune System Smiling can actually stimulate your immune response by helping you relax.

6. Lowers Blood Pressure When you smile, there is evidence that your blood pressure can decrease.

7. Releases Endorphins and Serotonin Research has reported that smiling releases endorphins, which are natural pain relievers, along with serotonin, which is also associated with feel good properties

So, as you can see, a "simple" smile is nothing short of amazing on many levels. There is something deeply human and healing about smiling. I would even go as far to say that a smile unites us all in humanity and beauty.

Little Girl Eyes

I was born and raised in New Jersey but every summer we would visit my father’s family in Miami Florida for Summer Vacation. We would stay at my Grandmother’s house or Nana as we would call her. Nana did not speak English, and I did not speak Spanish very well, yet somehow we communicated beautifully. My Nana’s home was welcoming and accented with beauty. It wasn’t overpowering, just pleasantly beautiful. There was the sparkle from the crystal teardrops hanging from her lamps and the curves on the furniture that caught ones attention. Upon entering her home, you knew that beauty was important to her.

As for her appearance, the same held true. Nana had a beautiful olive complexion and wore her dark brown hair curled up in a beehive style. She wore a flattering shade of red lipstick and not much more in the way of makeup. She loved gold jewelry and stylish clothes. Her elegant style always caught my attention. I knew as a young girl that my Nana was beautiful. My “little girl eyes” knew she was older, but after all she was a Nana and Nana’s were supposed to be older! My “little girl eyes” didn’t judge age; they simply took in the grace and beauty of my Nana.

Now I can’t talk about my Nana’s inner world because I know nothing about that, but I do know that she presented acceptance, beauty and grace to the world, and I am a better woman because of her.

Looking your personal best will change as life changes. As women we go through many phases, cycles and states of being--from young woman, mother, mature woman, pregnancy, sickness, weight gain and so on, yet we can still make a choice to look our personal best. This isn’t about letting society determine our beauty--it is about us determining our own Beauty! When it comes to determining our own beauty I can’t help but think of the beautiful Japanese philosophy of Wabi Sabi. This philosophy sees imperfection as ideal because it says that perfection doesn’t exist and flaws are seen as adding interest. So when determining your own beauty keep in mind that those beautiful laugh lines are a sign of experience and the blessing of being able to smile.

All too often we get caught up in the notion that youthful beauty is the only beauty that exists. By doing this, we not only hurt ourselves--we also deny our daughters, granddaughters, nieces and all the young girls in our lives the chance to see us as beautiful through their “little girl eyes”. Without healthy role models, we make it that much more difficult for them to accept their own beauty throughout the seasons of their lives.

Being beautiful is a lifelong decision. Please don’t fall into the trap of assigning beauty to a particular age. Make up your mind right now to Be Beautiful Always!

The Secret To Real Beauty

I came across the most wonderful quote and had to share it.  While I am definitely a beauty junkie and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the physical results of my potions, lotions and make-up--I really think this is the secret to Real Beauty!  I hope it speaks to your mind and heart like it did to mine.

“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
 For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
 For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
 For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.
 For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
 People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
 As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.” 

Sam Levenson

By the way, there are studies to back up the fact that people are judged as significantly more attractive by their positive, generous and  altruistic acts. Proof that the positive qualities of our actions, and personalities are projected on the way we are perceived physically too!  Definitely a Win Win.

F**kin Perfect

For a change, I actually don't want to spend a lot of time writing.  It is my hope that you will not only watch and enjoy the below video but also reflect on it, feel it and become it.  For me, every time this song comes on the radio, it's like I hit the lottery.  I feel the music and become the words.  At points I am filled with compassion and understanding for myself and for the world-- then --next thing you know I singing along belting out obscenities and feeling like I can conquer anything.  This is all while my mind plays a background tune of VICTORY for the perfectness in my UN-perfectness!

OK enough said--I hope you see, hear and feel the beauty of this song.   While I know it is strong with the visuals and the obscenities, in my opinion, if there is ever a time to have strong visuals and strong language this is it. I have also included an all word video for those of you who prefer visually seeing words on the screen without the distraction of a themed graphic story.   

Where's Your WOW?

Years ago I read a book titled, "Where's Your WOW?: 16 Ways to Make Your Competitors Wish They Were You!"   The book speaks of  each individual's unique WOW factor--that special element only you can deliver that will delight your customers. While this is predominately a business book it really does apply to our whole life.


Sometimes when we are feeling down or life seems to have lost its pizazz, recovery can be simply a matter of finding or remembering our WOW!  After all things that make us say WoW generally give us a feeling of being alive . I mean what's life without some WoW's!


For me one of my WOW's is black eyeliner! Yup, that right black eyeliner. I love it and it always makes me feel special. Not only do I get the payoff of loving the way my eyes look but I also enjoy the creative experience of applying feature enhancing make-up. I get to feel like an artist every morning.

I recently asked one of my best friends What her WOW was and she immediately responded "My Victoria's Secret Bra" (which is another one of mine too :) When I asked my sister the same question she responded "My sense of Humor." How great is that?! The point is we all have things that make feel good, special and alive. For you it might be your garden, your passion for learning or perhaps even your gold jewelry. WOW's come in many different forms but they all make us feel alive.

While I haven't figured out a magic formula for finding your WOW, I have been inspired by Howard Thurman's quote, "Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive"

So....What's your WOW?

Just try not to feel beautiful bathing in God’s Grace

I like to take as many mundane everyday tasks such as walking or taking a shower and turn them into “semi sacred rituals”. Let’s take bathing for example. Water is the universal solvent and has been referred to and used as a purification method in many spiritual traditions. From holy water to the sacrament of baptism water has definite symbolic associations. For me, magic is achieved when I combine water, intention, and stimulation of my senses.



Bathing is the perfect time to “wash away” negativity and use the power of you mind to not only cleanse your body but also generate positive feelings. I like to use an amazing body wash called Pure Grace by Philosophy which smells amazing and lathers up great, the name isn’t bad either! I think a good smelling body wash is important because it stimulates our sense of smell which affects our brain chemistry and changes our mood in powerful ways. Next, I lather up full body and tap into the powerful force of my imagination. This is equally important considering that our subconscious mind is affected by our imagination and we actually physically respond to the images that we create. I visualize all negativity washing of my body with the soap acting as a negativity magnet, so to speak. As the water flows over me and the soap goes down the drain, I can’t help but feel renewed and clean both physically and mentally. Most days (dependent on time) I take it a step further and visualize God’s grace surrounding me and actually permeating every cell in my body. To do this I lather up a second time after I have already cleansed myself using the above method and go into “Grace” mode. I really love this second lather because it allows me to bring spirituality into the experience and reminds me that I am a part of something much bigger.

Why not personalize and try this method? You could visualize love surrounding you and go into “Love mode” or maybe it’s “Beauty Mode” you’re e after.  For "Brownie Points" try surround yourself with white protective light once you've rinsed off. As you are visualizing this beautiful white light surrounding your body hold the intention that you are protected and that all forms of negativity simply bounce off of you. This will not only protect you energetically but it will also send a safe protective signal to your mind making you feel great.  As you can see you can play with these techniques quite a bit and personalize them.  The point is you really have nothing to lose and so much to gain! Have fun :)

A Beautiful Mind

My father recently passed away. It was unexpected and like any other family that suffers such a devastating loss, we are grieving beyond words can say.


My nature is and has always been to strive to see, look and feel beautiful in all situations. Sometimes I fall short. This was one of those times. The day after my father died, I sat down determined to write a posting about seeing the beauty in death. I failed. Not that there isn’t beauty in death—it’s just that I wasn’t and I’m not ready to gather my thoughts and put them out there to the world yet. I’m also still working through all of the normal emotions that come with the death of a parent.

Believe it or not—I found myself feeling guilty that I could not muster up a blog entry about beauty and death. I found myself thinking thoughts like—“What’s wrong with you—you can’t even write a blog entry?” and “Wow what a disappointment you’ve turned out to be” and perhaps the cruelest one of all “What would Daddy think of you now”

Needless to say I certainly wasn’t feeling compassion towards myself. That’s the funny thing about what I call Mind Chatter (that relentless voice in your mind). It’s always going on—and most of the time it’s not very compassionate or realistic. Take some time out today to stop and listen to that chatter. I think you will be amazed at how critical and sometimes downright mean that chatter can be.

This mind chatter can sabotage more than we know. The Funny thing about this voice is that it’s not even our own! Let me explain. As babies and small children—we think we are great! We scribble on walls and marvel at our masterpieces, we make funny noises and laugh at our comical abilities, we get into our moms make-up scribble all over faces with red lipstick and blue eye shadow and think “Aren’t I beautiful!” we steal a cookie from our brother and delight in the sweetness without feeling an ounce of guilt. I bet if we listened into the mind chatter of a 2 year old pretending to be Buzz Light Year we would hear thoughts such as “To infinite and Beyond!” The point is a 2 year old doesn’t think “Who am I to pretend to be a super hero?” He or she thinks “Who am I NOT to be a Super Hero!”

So why do we struggle so much with this mind chatter and how is it possible to go from Hero to Zero? While the answer is multi-faceted and can get complex—I will offer what I believe to be the most prevalent way. We unconsciously absorb others limiting beliefs and then use our imagination to intensify them. Our subconscious mind is ALWAYS listening, absorbing and trying to protect us. This part of our mind controls all our involuntary responses such as breathing, respiration and also things like our auto pilot responses when doing things such as driving, riding a bike or even typing. In contrast to our conscious mind—we are not aware of this behind the scene power house even though it is controlling 95% of our decisions. We think we are in control with our conscious mind and why shouldn’t we? If I were to ask you what your dreams, goals or even what you want to wear today—your conscious mind would answer. Yet when you try to achieve the very things you said—your subconscious mind would be calling the shots based on previous programs. That explains the duality that can sometimes occur in our words and actions. We may consciously really want to stay on our diet or write that thesis but our subconscious mind has a different idea. As a result of this and in combination with our imagination we exaggerate our perceived shortcomings.

The majority of these negative programs are “downloaded before the age of 7 (when our brain waves are in a constant state of THETA) but we continue to download beliefs our whole life. That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to the words we use, be compassionate with ourselves when we fall short of our expectations and to look for ways to change our subconscious negative beliefs. A few of my favorite ways are; Hypnosis, Subliminal Tapes, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and NLP (Nuero Linguistic Programming).

If you ask me what’s the most important part of looking, feeling and experiencing beauty in your life, I would have to say or rather scream---YOUR MENTAL ATMOSPHERE. It’s really hard to experience beauty when you’re feeling despair and sadness because you are already experiencing a negative state of being. Similarly, when your thinking sad, anxiety ridden and self defeating thoughts it’s extremely hard to physically feel good. It’s just not practical considering the interconnectedness of your mind and body. Your body actually takes on the physiology of your state of mind and vice versa. For example when you’re feeling depressed , angry and so on--your facial muscles reflect that (your facial muscles are actually uniquely connected to the emotional part of your brain) your posture becomes slumped, your immune system is compromised, and of course the stress response is set off. As far as looking beautiful--in a previous blog I wrote of the skin and stress. Your skin is your body’s largest organ and immediately shows your physical and mental state. That’s why it is really easy to see the changes in someone when they are under stress or sick, hence the expression, “Written all over their face”.

While I certainly recommend changing your subconscious beliefs—I also know there is great value in simple awareness and encourage you be more compassionate with yourself. Please take a moment to listen to your mind chatter. Unless it is saying that you are the Most Beautiful and Amazing person-- know that it is wrong and for now simply tell it so!